Blog Post: Owning It All
Owning our stories is a gateway to growth, freedom, and boundless energy. It takes us to the fields of our dreams to manifest from our authentic heart. But first we have to unpack in our emotional baggage what we are unconsciously carrying with us that keeps us tethered to spinning the same story over and over again.
Remember the days of records? When the record needle came to the end of the song, it would make this scratching sound as the record spun endlessly until you lifted the arm and stopped the spin. Like us humans, when we get to the end of a story or song and we haven't lifted the lesson and heard the music, we can spin the same narrative in the next experience wondering why we are stuck in the same hole. The center of the record has a hole where it fits into the record player. In order to take off the record and move to the next song, we gotta fill ourselves up with the sounds of our own voice and own the music that lives within us.
Metaphors are helpful ways to bypass the critical mind and open us to understand and feel the hard truths that bring us to a state of love. Owning takes feeling as well as awareness. You can’t change a part of life that has been wired into our thinking without feeling the energy attached to it. Most of us are afraid to feel emotions like sorrow, sadness, grief because we fear it will swallow us up in a sink hole of despair. The Opposite is true. When we open our experience to feel all of what it means to be human something divine happens. We release the pain of resistance and it reveals what we really need to soothe our tender places. It reunites us with our infinite Self and source of happiness. It takes courage to take the leap of faith. The energy that is released ungrips the pain so a new feeling can be received and a new pathway can unfold. This is the artfulness of creating new neural pathways and communication within and with others.
Why is owning critical to intimacy? Because into me I am willing to SEE all of me and own all of my vibes. This releases the good/bad dichotomy and opens to the paradox of holding all experience as a road to inner revolution. Breaking down the walls of separation within myself is inner work and not for the feeble. It does take courage to go into places we have been told to stay away. Like feelings! How were you taught to process your feelings as a way to guide you into what needs love and attention? If you received this you are blessed and rare. Most of us were taught to shut them down, override them, don’t trust what you feel, run away, off load them and judge others, put on a happy face, OCD them, the list goes on. My relationships in my life started to improve the day I began learning how to rinse my feelings, process their meaning, and understand what I need to hold, and own within me. By no means was it perfect and it’s been a ride ever since. I can honestly say decades later, I got this because I finally GOT me.
Flashback to teenage Mia and her high school boyfriend. One of my hurt spins when I was not feeling loved and seen by him was “ He doesn’t get me!” I wasn’t getting me and it was in this crazy process, I was learning it. Growth takes awareness and then it activates what needs attending. I learned later that was not his job, it was mine. I can seek love and validation from other people, but it is always reflecting where I am searching for it within myself.
Here’s the thing, I was born with it and so were you. Think back to when you were a little babe making your first steps and the wonder and enchantment you had with the simplest things. Along the way, we get clouded in this feeling and begin to take on the judgements, beliefs, and projections of the world. None of this is bad or wrong, all part of the design to bring us home to what keeps us alive to joy.
Owning takes effort and self reflection to excavate what is living inside of me that is keeping me stuck. Many of us are drawn to relationships that will activate the records from past days and that music is familiar and even sweet. Until it is not.:) It hits our center hole and our emptiness starts to seek the other person to fill us up. If that space inside of us was full, we wouldn’t be attracted to certain people because I am in my wholeness. For many of us that isn’t the case. Our parents and ancestors had pain and trauma they didn’t know how to process and own so we carry the hurt with us. Not fair and also the universe doesn't care about fairness, it is about getting to the truth to bring things back into center. It is our spiritual journey.
This is why learning to feel all of our emotions is key. It puts the energy in motion and gets us unstuck from the spin of past pain and hurt. It is this process that moves us to possibility. We start to hear the music that is inside of us and each time we trust that voice over the fear voices in our heads, we move closer to our authentic Self. It is a reunion to the sweetness of life in all its colors. Owning all of me, even through the hard experiences, makes me accountable for my life. It is the alchemy that turns lead into gold. The kind you can't buy, it is the treasure of embracing all of life.